Business Cards by Kolyder

Strategic execution. Hostile takeovers. Bullet points. Post-mortems.

Business is war. Your career is a battlefield.

Welcome, valued colleague, to Business Cards by Kolyder.

As Per My Last Email-Business Cards-Kolyder

Prmotion Without Raise-Business Cards-Kolyder

Low Pile Confetti Gray Carpet-Business Cards-Kolyder

Weaponized Incompetence-Business Cards-Kolyder

Mission Statement-Business Cards-Kolyder

Constructive Gaslighting-Business Cards-Kolyder

Flourescent Light Panel-Business Cards-Kolyder

Coprorate Rebrand-Business Cards-Kolyder

Harassment Training Video-Business Cards-Kolyder

Branded Stress Ball-Business Cards-Kolyder

Strategic Sick Day-Business Cards-Kolyder

Mobius Management Structure-Business Cards-Kolyder

Mandatory Team Building-Business Cards-Kolyder

Non-Compete Clause-Business Cards-Kolyder

"I showed these to my boss. She said this was a teachable moment and now I have more 'development opportunities' than ever!"

Operations Department Meeting Around Whiteboard

Chad Chadton
Disillusionment Engineer

"Perfect for when you've abandoned hope but still have student loans to pay."

Vivian Woods
Email Warfare Specialist

"I played some of these cards so often I was promoted to a position with the word 'Innovation' in the title!"

Bryson P. Weatherby III
SVP, Innovative Ambiguity

Now Available: Expansion Sets

Business Cards: The WinkedIn Expansion

Business Cards: The Clinical Research Expansion

Questions and Questionable Answers

What in the fresh hell is this?

Questions are not allowed during this meeting. Frankly, I'm not sure how you were unmuted.

Should I share these with co-workers?

Is this a proper allocation of resources?

Should I report this to HR?

Is this a real game?

Really, why would you do this?

As an only child growing up in The Sticks, Nebraska, I spent many hours trying to conjure orbs with my mind. Naturally, I was inclined to like Magic: The Gathering.

As a consultant, I still spend a lot of time conjuring things with my mind (though not nearly as many orbs).

I take my work seriously. Myself? Not so much. These Business Cards are an homage to a thing I loved growing up.

If you enjoyed this, email hello@kolyder.com or connect on LinkedIn.