If you hold a bone-deep binary position about something, you may lack a nuanced understanding of the thing you feel so passionate about (abortion, gun control, climate change, immigration, vaccines).
Standing on the shaky ground of unexamined pro-this, anti-that beliefs can also push you into groups with similar stances. And groups are especially drawn to collections of oversimplified dichotomies that pit them against others — a valiant ‘us’ versus an evil ‘they’.
If the mere mention of an issue makes your heart rate jump, think about why. Am I afraid of something I don’t know? Do I know this is true? Am I right, or am I just convincing myself I’m right?
If an idea seems unthinkable to you, try to find out why you are incapable of thinking that way. Expose your ignorance or potential bias to contrary information. Seek unwelcome truths to widen your base of understanding.
Even if contrary information doesn’t change your mind, it can expand your worldview. Gaining another perspective can also help you trace a finger along the roadmap to see how someone arrived at their opinions. You don’t need to abandon your opinions; you just need to abandon your agenda for a moment to take a field trip.
Your time is usually better spent trying to understand rather than trying to be understood. Refrain from arguing or trying to convince others. Instead, just seek the truth.
This process of understanding different perspectives is how people with differing values or beliefs can come to accept, admire, and even love one another.
“I see as much misery out of them moving to justify their selves as them that set out to do harm.”
Dr. Amos Cochran, Deadwood (TV)